Life is nothing but struggle

I know I made a big mistake.But if I can get another chance,I'll make it right.

I'm really serious this time.Please don't make me misunderstand.

I guess you are giving me some hints.I feel you are thinking the same with me.

If not so,please tell me,I don't wanna waste my time and my youth.

Cuz I can choose another way to live my life.But please remember that you are always my first choice.

As soon as I get on the other way,there will never be a choice about you.

The clock keeps running fast.Meanwhile,things are changing.Something changed so fast that made me feel strange.

Love is an angel,love is also a devil,it can bring u up to the heaven,it also can push u down to the hell.

She used to be a strong girl.Nothing could bring her down.She's always nice to everyone.There's always a smile on her face.But love changed her,changed her life and her thought.

She's a little hysteric now.She can never trust anyone or anything,although she wanted to.She hides herself in a shield,don't wanna expose any part of her outside,even a hair.

She's afraid to get hurt again.The wound is still bleeding.She needs some time to recover.

I ain't come here for such a long time.Many friends don't come to see my blog any more.But I still got something to say,something happened in this holiday of the National Day.

On 30th Sept.,my brother got married.And at the wedding,a lot of people asked me "When will you get married?" or "Do you have a girlfriend yet?".Some fo my friends,especially girls,always told these similar things which bothered them so much.And I thought I'm a boy,and I don't need to worry about these things at my age.It seems like I was wrong.

I don't worry about this,but some people do.And someone even wanna introduce some girl to me,I refused.

I don't have a girlfriend,I don't know when I'll get married,so what?You guys don't know what is in my mind,I have my own thoughts.I don't wanna talk about it with you.

I've been waiting for someone.

I know life is hard,but I don't know how hard it could be.

Life is hard,and this year life is much harder.

I get no one to tell,cuz I don't wanna share this fucking situation.

I have to hold it deep in my heart,and I have to think alone.

But the result makes me more depressed.

How could I get through this rough year?

This year is too long,much longer than before.

sometimes i wanna quit,but it's not my intention.

sometimes i wanna hold on,but i feel tired.

this time i need to learn enjoying the pain alone,no one can read it,and i need no one to read it.no one can understand it,and i need no one to understand it.

all i need is to light one cigeratte.through the smoke i can see how stupid i am.and for the moment,i'm numb,i can release myself.